Life in the Time of Covid-19: Journal Entry 6

​For years now I haven’t felt quite right.  I find it hard to switch off.  I’ve gone from somebody who used to enjoy her holidays after intense terms at school to somebody who doesn’t get as much enjoyment from them any more.  From the moment I wake up to the moment I fall asleep, I feel wired most of the time.  It’s like there is a before and an after.  I’m still trying to pinpoint the event in my life which came just after the before and just before the after.  I suspect it’s the years of grind, of relentless struggle, the days after that day in August 2013 when I stood at the check out with my son and the bottom of my world fell out. 

It’s as though my physiology has become accustomed to the adrenalin, as though I’m in a constant flight or fight response.  It doesn’t help that there hasn’t been resolution to all the conflicts.  It doesn’t help, of course, that I am surrounded everywhere I look by people even more traumatised by the dysfunctional malevolence of the Maltese state.  Every time some calamity befalls another person, I’m there feeling that blast of callous, indifferent malice with them.
​
My only reprieve is when I’m out with my family in the countryside I love.  Or in the sea.  Or lost in a book or a good film.  

Ras il-Waħx, Sunday 29th March, 2020

So, this Covid-19 quasi quarantine would be a good time for me to get to the bottom of this, once and for all, I've been thinking.  A time where I could be kind to myself and find some way back to being the person I used to be, if that is at all possible.
 
I will get there.  But maybe not this week.  Distance teaching is more time consuming than I thought.  There are also possibilities to explore, skills I want to learn.  Microsoft teams, for example.  Paperless learning – I’m intrigued by the possibilities of that.  The distillation of a lesson into its essence.  With all the anecdotes to illustrate a teaching point, the questions, the examples...

This evening I watched Immanuel Mifsud recite his beautiful poetry.  So generous of him to distract us away from the trials and tribulations of this period in time.  Later we watched Marriage Story on Netflix.  Amazing performances by Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson.  All in all an emotional evening.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
These are a few of the major news stories of the week:     

If  Steward Ltd contract is rescinded, ex Minister Konrad Mizzi has fixed it so that the Maltese government   - ie. us - will still have to pay Steward Ltd 100 million euro.  

Yesterday was the first month anniversary of the death of Miriam Pace in the rubble of her own home. 

On Monday, 6th April, it will be 1 year since the racially motivated murder of Lassana Cisse.

There is a  huge data leak of various personal details of 337 384 voters compiled by C-Planet IT Solutions Ltd for PL, with an indication of voting preference  .